


Missing him

by hoichildimgay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bit of Fluff, Canon Compliant, Inspired by song, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 20:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18351185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoichildimgay/pseuds/hoichildimgay
Summary: Miss you terribly alreadyMiss the space between your eyelidsMiss your teeth when they chatterMiss your small hands in the palm of mineMiss your teeth dug in my shoulder





	Missing him

**Author's Note:**

> uwu second try
> 
> inspired by the song Small Hands by Keaton Henson
> 
> plz comment
> 
> also spoilers!!

_Miss you terribly already_  
  
It hasn't even been a whole day and Levi's aching for Erwin. He's aching to see his eyes -that colour he loved dearly-, longing to hear his voice, feel his presence. Now that he knows he is gone, he feels so unbelievably empty. This feeling of grief has taken over and he does not know how he is supposed to move on. How can he move on from Erwin? How does one leave behind what matters the most to them? He knows it will only get worse. He dreads the day that he won't be able to recall his laugh, scent, his everything. He doesn't want Erwin's face to blur and fade as time passes by. He would rather die than forget him.  
  
_Miss the space between your eyelids_  
  
It's been just a week and he misses, he misses so damn much. He'd do anything to look into his eyes once again. He wants so badly to join him, wants to just lay next to him and stare into his eyes. That lovely blue that pierced through him the first time they met. He does not want to recall that time now for it would only bring him even more sorrow. He looks up the sky, but the sight that once calmed and gave him hope looks so  _colourless, uninteresting_  to him now. He tries to find comfort in that blue, but though it's quite a lovely colour, nothing can compare to Erwin's eyes. He stops his train of thoughts and quickly looks away. He won't be able to sleep tonight.  
  
_Miss your teeth when they chatter_  
  
On expeditions it would often get insanely cold at nights. He remembers being wrapped in Erwin's arms, both of them curled up, their teeth chattering and bodies shaking. It's okay though, they enjoyed each other's comfort. They were worn out and cold, but they still had each other. They would both return back in the walls safe and sound. They would be oka.  
  
_Miss your small hands in the palm of mine_  
  
Levi misses the way his hands looked firmly held in Erwin's. After long days, Levi would bring tea for both of them. Erwin would put away his paperwork and he'd look at Levi with tired eyes, thanking him for the tea. Levi would answer him with a small smile and plop down on a chair, both of them sipping their tea and just staring at eachthat other. Then Erwin would get back to his work and Levi would just watch him as he calmly now went through papers. Sometimes Levi would fall asleep, watching him.   
  
_Miss your teeth dug in my shoulder_  
  
When it'd been a good day, after they were done with their drinks, Levi would crawl into Erwin's lap. For moments they'd just hold onto each other, Levi would put his ear against Erwin's chest and listen to his heartbeat. Sometimes he'd fall asleep like this and Erwin would lightly kiss the top of his head and take him in his room. Lay him down on the bed and hug him, falling asleep as well. Other times when they'd stillbe have some energy left, Levi would begin trailing kisses around Erwin's neck. Then he'd straddle him, run his hands through his hair and grind against him. Erwin would growl and pull Levi closer. And after some making out he'd take Levi to bed, loving every breathy sound he got out of him. When they were finished, Levi would lay on Erwin's chest  again listening to his heartbeat, Erwin's hand in his hair and they'd fall asleep like that.  
  
_Miss your arm dying beneath me, as I lay there simply yawning_  
  
When they'd wake up in the morning, Erwin's right arm would almost always be numb due to Levi sleeping on it all night. Erwin would grunt and Levi would just look at him yawning and stretching his limbs. He'd place his palm against Erwin's cheek, though he was keen on physical contact, when they were like this , he couldn't stop himself from touching Erwin. He loved his heat against his cold palm, it comforted Levi that he was still here with him, for now at least. Erwin would wriggle his right arm that was under Levi and he'd smile as Levi moved so he could pull it away.  When he lost his right arm, they didnt have that problem anymore. Though nothing changed, Levi would still stroke his cheek and he'd still smile lovingly at him. Erwin didn't mind.  
  
_I'll write my_   _loneliness in poems, if I can just think how to start  
_  
He wrote letters to Erwin. Almost every night when he couldn't sleep, he'd be writing down his thoughts. HisI letters piled up and when he had time, he went to Erwin's graveyard and left them atop his grave, a pricey bouquet of flowers on top and a drink on his hand. He'd sit against the gravestone a letter on his hand and a drink on the other. He never cried, his voice often shook but he never cried. He read -sometimes whispered- out loud his letters, making side comments now and then. When he was done with them, he'd just sit there embracing the emptiness. The void in his heart had become familiar to him now. Each night he dreamt of those ocean blue eyes and each night he woke up with  _his_ name on the tip of his tongue.  
  
~  _Close my eyelids, hide my eyes, I'll be idle in my ideals , think of nothing else but I._


End file.
